I wish that I had the courage to POAS right now. But I don't. I do have a lot of symptoms that seem to be saying 'pregnant', at least most of the time. While I know that I very well may be deluding myself, I don't have a problem with that. I'm all for living in the moment and believing that I'm pregnant. You can all call me a naive idiot later, I don't mind.
Buuuut on the other hand... Like everyone else, I would really just like to know NOW. I would love to not be stressing all day when that dreaded phone call comes in. If I could trust the results right now from taking a test I would do it. But here's the catch, my betas are always on the low side. When I was pregnant with my twins, my beta at 11dp3dt was 101. If I should be so lucky to be pregnant now, that would mean on Wed HCG would be about 50, and today 25. With my daughter, I had a whopping HCG of 40. That would mean maybe 20 on Wed and only 10 today. With my chemical pregnancy, that totally made me feel pregnant btw, my HCG was only 25.
The weird thing is, that every time I've been pregnant, whether it ended well or not, I have felt pregnant. I was so confident when I was pregnant with my daughter that when I answered the phone I said "I'm pregnant, right?". The thing is, no one but me thought I was going to stay that way. With a number that started out on the low side, and then only went up to 65, I was given about a 15% chance or less of that embryo turning into a baby. When the third beta came back, and it had struggled up to a respectable 117, my RE was so convinced it was an ectopic he had me come in for an early US. I was calm as a cucumber. I just knew that it was going to be ok. Which is strange in itself, because normally I'm totally pessimistic.
Right now, I feel like I'm floating on a bubble. One wrong move and it just...might...pop. I'm trying not to obsess about the symptoms, at the same time I'm trying not to be confident in what they might mean. What I wish is that just for once I could be confident enough to POAS and believe the results. But since I can't even get a couple of beta tests to make me confident in the results, that's not going to happen. *sigh*
Maybe if I'm still feeling pregnant on Wednesday?..... :)
ohhhh, just do it. Pee on that stick. Worse case scenario, its negative and you wait to wed praying it was just too low to pick up. Best case scenario you find out you are indeed pregnant. Can't change the outcome....might as well peek early and pee on a stick. I say go for it. (obviously, though, i have very litle self-control when it comes to POAS). xoxo
ReplyDeleteI see your thoughts exactly. If you peed you wouldn't know if the result was true (if it were neg). I am on the edge of my seat your you! Sending happy thoughts!
ReplyDeletePee on a stick! Pee on a stick! What do we want? We want Chickenpig to POAS! When do we want it? NOW!
ReplyDeleteJust do it :)
ReplyDeleteYou guys :) It's too early!
ReplyDeleteNope don't POAS just let yourself still feel the joy of wondering if you are pregnant!
ReplyDeleteOh man, I'm a POAS-aholic so I better stop right here.....
ReplyDeleteI couldn't wait so I POAS before my appointment. I say do whatever feels right! Fingers crossed for you!!!
ReplyDeleteI'd say do it..but I also have the self control of a wiener dog locked in a room with a pizza. If you can wait- Madam you have my respect!
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't be able to wait! I am really keeping my fingers crossed for you and praying this is going to be a happy BFP!!! Can't wait to hear more updates.
ReplyDeleteI wish POAS was more sensitive than it is... it sounds like it might be too early then you might end up with a negative and a disappointment that you don't need to go through... I hope your gut feeling that you're preg is right :)) and that your test is a BFP on Wed :)) This waiting is so so hard. Thinking of you xoxo
ReplyDeleteahhh! I never did only for fear of what I would see. wishing you a peaceful decision!! Fingers crossed!
ReplyDeleteI always vote for not POAS, especially if you know your betas are usually on the low side. Why put yourself through the trauma of a negative when it could be inaccurate? Thinking of you and hoping sooooo much those little embies are snuggling in!
ReplyDeleteI meant to post on this yesterday. Pee, pee, pee!
ReplyDeleteThat's such a hard one! I actually went to disneyland with my mom during my last two week wait so that I wouldn't have access to pee sticks, other wise, I simply don't have the physical ability NOT to poas.
ReplyDelete"(obviously, though, i have very litle self-control when it comes to POAS). xoxo "
ReplyDeleteI was the same - the slightest twinge and out came the pee stick!
I must have ued my bodyweight in them over the years.
Here to grant your wish.
ReplyDeleteI had a post a couple years ago called
"Have stick will pee."
Pee on the stick already.
I'm really strict with myself and never pee early. Because I'd hate to get a false negative. But it is Wednesday here now, so how are you feeling today?
ReplyDelete