Blogging in my head since 1999

Monday, December 19, 2011

All over

The bean was only measuring around 7 weeks and change. No heartbeat. It was also shaped a little oddly, a very strange blob without a recognizable head or rump to measure. I'm having a stiff drink right now and waiting for the miscarriage to work itself out. I'm keeping my Wednesday appointment so they can check how things are progressing.

I haven't shed a tear. I feel oddly disconnected from the whole thing. I have three beautiful kids, and as much as I really, really want another baby it probably just isn't meant to be. My eggs are getting older, and with my husband's sperm being so crappy I'm sure it's just a recipe for disaster.

The hope and joy were so wonderful while they lasted, though. Good bye, my beautiful bean. You were wanted and loved more than you'll ever know.

24 comments:

  1. : ( This makes me very sad. You seem to be handling it well though.

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  2. My heart is breaking for you right now. I am so sorry it ended like this. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  3. Thinking of you and your family. Know wevarevalways here for support xxxx

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  4. Oh no! How terrible you must be feeling right now. I know the shock will wear off and the tears will start soon. I'll be thinking of you and praying that you won't have too much pain.

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  5. Oh, my heart is broken. I am so sorry. I have no words to comfort you. You are in my thoughts.

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  6. I know you feel numb right now...It doesn't matter that you already have children. A loss is a loss. Please know we are here for you.

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  7. Oh no!!!!! I thought - for sure - the outcome would be different. I am so very very sorry. I wish I could hug you in person. The tears will come....disconnection is a defense mechanism...feel it. Thinking of you tons!!! I hope Christmas lifts your spirits. ((HUGS))

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  8. Oh no!! I'm so sorry this had to happen to you, especially right before the holidays. Thinking of you!!!!

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  9. Oh, I am so, so, so, so sorry. Words can't even describe. This is the worst news and my heart is just breaking for you.
    You're in my thoughts...
    We are all here for you...
    Love and hugs...

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  10. I am so very, very sorry. Please know that I am thinking of you. I hope that I can provide with as much support as you have provided me. (HUGS)

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  11. Oh I am so sorry for your loss. I lost a pregnancy last year and it is a very very hard thing to have to go through. Nothing anyone can say or do helps. I will be thinking of you.

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  12. I am popping over from Sometimes...

    I wanted to say I am so sorry for your recent loss. I know how painful it is. I wish you the best in your healing and hope that you can find some peace.
    http://missconception-ads.blogspot.com/

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  13. Oh no, I'm so sorry. I with it hadn't gone this way. What crappy timing with the holidays and all too. I'll be thinking about you.

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  14. I really wish the right words existed and that I could figure out what they were so I could say them to you. I'm thinking about you and I wish you didn't have to go through this.

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  15. Oh no! I am so so sorry to read this. I hate that you have to go through this. Sending lots of prayers your way.

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  16. So, so sorry. Sending hugs your way.

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  17. So very sorry for your loss. My condolences.

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  18. I'm so sorry for you loss, much love and prayers for you and your family during this time.

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  19. Oh no, I am so, so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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  20. so sorry for your loss

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  21. I am so so sorry. My heart stopped when I read the post subject. I know they tearless sadness of which you speak. I know it too well. Empty, hollow, thankful for what we have.... but wanting more.

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  22. I am so incredibly sorry. Sending a hug.

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