Hey, 2012, don't let the door hit you on the way out!

2012 was not the best year for me. It wasn't the worst, not by a long shot, but it wasn't great. I am glad to see it go!

The Christmas season was a lot of fun here. Aside from the moments of total melancholy on the 19th and the 21st, I was too busy preparing for Christmas, cleaning up after Christmas, preparing for in laws, cleaning up again,  having a New Year's party...then cleaning up again. I had offered to have Christmas dinner at our house this year, but I didn't expect my mom to take me up on it. I was very happy she did. Focusing on getting everything I needed done took my mind off of things until Christmas.


I spoiled my kids absolutely rotten. It was the first Christmas I have worked and had my own money to spend since the twins were born 7 years ago. I took absolute delight in choosing gifts I knew they would love. My sister and mother in law also spoiled them, buying all three of them big Christmas gifts for the first time ever. Christmas morning was a crazy delight...and then I had to find a home immediately for three kids worth of stocking stuff and a giant pile of wrapping paper.

By 10:30 I had the turkey on the spit and in front of the fire. (the pictures show a chicken, the turkey looked exactly the same when it was done, only twice as big). The contraption that you see there is called a 'tin kitchen' and it is an 18th century cooking device. It is the best way in the world to cook a turkey, and incredibly easy to boot. We had 14 adults and 4 children for dinner, including ourselves, and it was a bit of a trick making enough table space for everyone. We ended up pressing every table we own in the house into service, including our computer desk and the boys' desk from upstairs.The dinner went amazingly well, but I was exhausted and glad to have the last of our guests leave at almost midnight.

Now the holidays are finally over. I took the last of the decorations off of the tree today. I'm so sad to see it go. I wish I had big plans for 2013. But I am left with a weak resolution to not be so sad. 2012 had some great times. There was my daughter's birthday party and the first day of school.
Halloween and the boys 7th birthday. But the special times make me sad, too. I walked down the street on Halloween looking up at the stars and just wishing that I could stop time. If I could just hold my breathe, would they stay little, just a little bit longer? I'm not sad because I don't appreciate everything I have, but because I am infinitely greedy. I can't get enough. How many more years will my boys let me hold their hands as we trick or treat? How many years will they believe in Santa Claus? I don't know. And I am afraid that I will spend the rest of my life bitterly resenting my husband and never forgiving him for taking my last chance.