Do you believe?

• Fridays still suck. I would have been 18 weeks last Friday. I have now officially been not pregnant as long as I was pregnant. 
• No progress has been made on my dining room. We need to purchase wall paper and to see if the paint color I have chosen will actually work. The ceiling needs to be put in primer. Since my husband agreed to prime/paint the ceiling because my mother is very short, and I can't purchase wallpaper without an infusion of cash, it is completely out of my hands at the moment. This bums me out. I think I will pick up the roller extension and or brush and paint something tonight. I can't paint while the kids are home and awake, which is why my mother is doing the painting. 
• Pablo decided to clean the pool early this month. No doubt he is being spiteful because I kicked him out from October until January. He should probably be cleaning someone ELSE'S pool right now. Jerk. 
• I am knitting baby hats. I hope to have both of them done by the end of this week. If they don't suck and I take them apart, grumbling under my breath all the while, and have to start over. I blame Downton Abby. I usually knit during football, because I can follow a game with less than half my attention. DA is far too engrossing. I am not the best knitter in the world, so I have to give more attention to my knitting than really good knitters do. 
• There have been some BFNs out there that have really made me sad. Sad because I really want everyone's cycle to work...even though I know it's not statistically possible. And sad because it reminds me how low my chances really are of getting, and staying, pregnant are at my age. It drives me crazy that I'm upset about a cycle failing that hasn't even gotten the chance to get underway yet. I have always taken IF one step at a time so I'm not wallowing in it. I know it is because in my heart of hearts I feel like I should be pregnant right now and should never have to do this again. Instead of focusing on all the great BFPs and growing bellies out there, it's only the negatives I see. That's just not ME and it's never BEEN me. 
• I have been able to knit baby hats, (which involves measuring baby doll Xs head for accuracy and using a baby hat one of my boys was given in the hospital as a model) play dolls with my daughter, and even walk around Target all without feeling miserable and sorry for myself. There are still times where I'm still sad, but I haven't cried in at least a couple of weeks. That feels great! Like I'm getting over the worst of the 'grief flu'. 
• I got a wonderful fortune cookie when we got Chinese take out this weekend. "Do you believe? Endurance and persistence will be rewarded." :)