Cd12 and things are moving right along. I'm not sure what my E2 level is yet, but my lining is a lush and cushy 13mm. I really want to just get this show on the road, already!!!
Usually at this time in the cycle I start thinking about what my next course of action will be if I don't get pregnant. It helps with the sting of a BFN for me when I have a plan. But with this cycle I don't have a plan, and that is starting to worry me a bit.
I do have a little bit of a plan. After these two embryos I will still have two, if I don't have to thaw all four to get one or two to transfer. Since my newly minted insurance pays for 3 cycles, I will still have the money to do another FET. IF I have the inclination, that is, and right now I'm not sure if I do. I'm tired of this, to be honest, sick of the shots, the monitoring, the blood draws, and the waiting. But I know I will have to. However this cycle pans out, I'll still have to do something with those embryos, and not wanting to dispose of them is how I got here in the first place. Maybe it's better if this cycle DOESN'T work.
But what happens when BOTH cycles don't work, and I'm left with this empty feeling in my gut? And one cycle still sitting there taunting me? The image I have of my life in the future has opened up to include juggling my life with a new baby and I don't want to shut that door. Life without that possibility suddenly seems dimmer and sadder to me...just a little. I'll have to start thinking harder about Plan B. Hopefully I can come up with something more tantalizing than toilet training.
Even when my husband was deployed and I had no chance of getting pregnant (short of immaculate conception) I still reviewed my 'plans' every month. I think planning is soothing for some people. I've got my fingers crossed for you that you won't need to come up with any more Plan Bs after this cycle!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great, cushy lining! Wishing you the very best in this cycle. I also have "no plan" for a BFN, for the first time ever, and that frightens me a little.
ReplyDeleteHoping that neither of us have to deal with that particular "what if."
Hugs,
Jo
My clinic does something (that I think is unusual) where you can opt out of cryo and they will ONLY fertilize as many eggs as you want to transfer. Obviously, there are some risks involved, but you've been through this enough to know if it's an option for you. This might be a way to do a 3rd cycle w/o lots of leftover embryos.
ReplyDeleteOf course it's irrelevant because one of these next two will work : )
Lulu,
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot! I haven't thought of that as an option, and it sounds like a good one :)
I like to have plans also. I'm going to think positive for you though. This is going to work.
ReplyDeleteI'm just jealous that you have insurance that will cover the costs. My insurance won't cover anything so we're 100% out of pocket.
ReplyDeleteThinking positive thoughts that you won't need a plan B.
For right now... let's just hope there is no need for plan B. Planning ahead can be soothing. TTC is a bumpy road but for right now, just try to cling on to the hope. Good luck :)
ReplyDeleteI completely understand the need for a Plan B. That sounds like me completely.
ReplyDeleteWishing you the best for this cycle!
Thanks so much for your amazing comments on my blog. I especially appreciated your thoughts about the Voodoo dolls!
Wow, everything sounds like it's going great! When are you scheduled for transfer? It should be pretty soon, right?
ReplyDeleteGood luck with figuring out Plan B, but I sure hope you don't need it!
Oh, and PS, thank you soooooo much for obsessing over my potential pregnancy symptoms with me all week...you are the best! :)